So this morning I was walking my laps at the gym, listening to Dave Ramsey on my mp3, when an older lady, probably in her 60's, came up along side me and, smiling, said, "I like your shirt!" I was wearing my Biggest Loser shirt from the Wellness Center, on the back of which it says, "Being a loser never felt so good." I smiled and said "Thanks!" I thought we were done, but she continued to walk next to me and said something about supporting me in the competition (which is actually over), and then commented about how if I lost any weight maybe I could give it to her. I laughed and said, "If only it were that easy, I'd love to." She talked about how she was underweight now and needed to gain some weight (she was very thin), about how hard that was. I jokingly said, "Eat some cookie dough!" She went on about how she would get so busy with what she was doing, if it weren't for her husband and son, she would forget to eat. I, of course, have never had that problem, and admitted so. After we had talked a bit more and walked more laps, she asked, "So how much weight do you have to lose?" I was nonplussed. She certainly seemed to be coming from a friendly position, I don't think she was being malicious, but what was I to say? Was she trying to discern just how fat I was, really? I mean, obviously anyone who sees me knows I am fat and could really lose some weight. So if I had told her, "100 lbs," would she have been like, "Is that all?" Or would she have said, "No way!" If I had said 30 lbs, would she have laughed, thinking (knowing) that that wasn't all? I kind of chuckled and said, "I don't even know, and I don't wanna know!" and she chuckled, and we went on chatting, she telling me in full detail how hard it is to gain weight.
I seriously think she was being kind and just making conversation. I don't think she had a mean bone in her body. But boy, did I feel exposed or something. Or am I just too sensitive (yes!) about any conversations about weight that I don't initiate myself?
Would it have bothered you?
Hi Anne. Even though I often can't comment on your blog (being in a Third World country can have its drawbacks!) I am reading your posts and appreciate your honesty. I think we all struggle to some extent with loneliness and/or lack of purpose. The women I know who are most content are the ones who know, I mean really know, that they are princesses... daughters of the King. If we believe that deep within ourselves, then it does not matter what others think of us because we know we are adored by our Heavenly Father. He knows our flaws and loves us anyway. Pretty cool to reflect on when feeling worthless, ugly, inadequate. I miss you!
ReplyDeleteRAMSEY! Love him! I actually fell off the wagon last month. :( Need to get back to reading your blog!
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