Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Eat Well. Move Often.
Well, yes, so where has the recent fixation on dieting come in again? I've been mulling over restarting Weight Watchers, or relogging calories on SparkPeople.com, or just "dieting" by restricting food. I'm not happy with my weight, true, but I think the truth is I'm less happy with what my body looks like now because the effects of age are showing - I'm developing jowls, I have lots of new spider veins on my legs (nice and dark blue - a color I like in general, but not on my skin), things are sagging. My bat wings are getting bigger, even though I have no intention of trying to fly. All those things have me back to thinking, "If I could just get skinny, those things would go away!" Some of them might. Most, probably not.
And I want to think I'm a "normal" woman, for whom dieting is not a massive anxiety-inducing word. I want to think I can do WW for a while and lose some weight and be fine. I keep trying to convince myself my brain is like everyone else's (oh, so many places I could go with THAT, but that's for another blog post). But it isn't. Because the thought, just the THOUGHT, of "having"to diet has sent me into a bingeing tailspin. See, I AM a compulsive overeater, and the more I try to restrict for the purposes of losing weight, the more I binge. When I let go of the idea that I MUST lose weight and focus instead on avoiding the big trigger foods and trying to do things like add in veggies, the freaky mindset dissipates and I don't overeat as much. Sounds counterintuitive, but I know it's true.
In the meantime, you'll be happy to know I've been living up to about 50% of my slogan - the "Eat...often" part. So now it's time to "Well...move"! And that includes moving this mindset off of dieting and back to healthy eating. Even if I never lose another pound and develop bat wings big enough to shield Gotham City.