Thursday, July 1, 2010

Superiority Complex

To the person who shall remain anonymous:

You recently told me you believe I have a superior attitude. I have been thinking about this a lot because, of course, I don't want this to be true. However, I will concede that at times I have mocked things you've done or said that seem, for lack of a better word, "silly". And I know my family sometimes denigrates things with eye-rolling or sly humor in a way that could be considered condescending or feel snobby/holier-than-thou, because I've noticed it and been bothered by it. So yes, I am guilty of that occasionally. And when I find myself doing it, I'm embarrassed and ashamed by it and want to change it.

However, I would like to point out that it seems to me that someone who feels they have the right to "dress others down", to "teach them a lesson", to call people "stupid," "idiots," "trash" or "selfish pig", also feels they are far superior to those subject to these wonderful endeavors. How else could you feel it was O.K. for you to do these things, unless you of course considered yourself better than the people you are "rebuking"? You have long said as far as cleaning goes that no one can do it up to your standards - implying that your standards and way of doing things are superior to anyone else's. Cleaning is not the only area in which you apply the "I know better than you" principle, by far.

I find it "interesting" that someone could really believe that things are never their fault. Oh, pardon me - you did admit partial culpability in a dish that recently got broken. I find it "interesting" that you believe it's always something wrong with the other person, not you. What is it like going through life that way, believing you are always right?

So while I'm guilty of occasional eye-rolling and maybe even some snooty comments once in a while, what I really think you're reacting to is the fact that I have challenged you. And your obvious superiority. After all, in your own words "you dressed me down to teach me a lesson." The lesson I learned, however, is not that you were right and I ought to be contrite and ashamed, but rather how much I don't like how you treat others and how much I do not believe you are someone to emulate.

Are you lonely up on that throne?

1 comment:

  1. OMG! That is so much like my mother! When I finally stood up to her by gently saying, "I feel angry when you tell me to 'shut up' when I'm talking to my husband." She flipped out. That's when I decided, 2 years ago to never see her again. I'd had enough.