Whoops. Since starting back to trying to watch my food intake 2 weeks ago, I had my first binge this evening. I am making cookies for a friend in L.A. who won a little FB competition I had. I was going to make pumpkin bread for a local winner (much harder to binge on unless I cut into the loaves), but decided on cookies for Kendra since she lives across the country. Only, duh, cookie dough is one of my major red light binge foods.
I thought it might not be a problem because I'm coming down with a cold and wasn't feeling particularly hungry. O.K., next time the Queen of Denial needs to admit that's what she was doing - thinking in Denial. Because the minute I got some dough onto my fingers, I ate it. (And washed my hands, no worries for Kendra!) And then I scooped some dough onto the cookie sheets, and some dough into my fingers for me to eat. Dang. I think I ate at least 10 scoops. Maybe more.
And boy is it hard to pull out of a binge once I enter that nosedive. I saw it for what it was. I knew I was bingeing. But just as quickly, I had the Guilt Devil and the Temptation Devil sitting on my shoulders yelling into my ears: "You blew it! But you've already had some, go ahead and have some more." And as I was trying to convince the Devils that part of the lesson this time around is learning how to get back up RIGHT AWAY after I fall, rather than floundering around in the muck and chocolate, well, their voices overrode mine for the next 3 or 4 scoops.
And then... And then I stopped. I did stop. There are still mounds of cookie dough sitting on the cookie sheets on top of the stove, waiting to be placed into the oven, and I'm not eating them. Yes, I ate 10. But I STOPPED. I'm getting up. Guilt is still trying to drag me down into the muck, and boy, he's one strong Devil. But I'm stronger. Good-bye, guilt. You serve no purpose. Good-bye, temptation. You beat me for a few minutes, but I'm getting back on the horse.
Fall down 7 times, get up 8.