Friday, September 9, 2011
Now that the kids are both in school, I'm supposed to be dedicating at least one day to writing. "Supposed" being my language, but my husband is, um, 'heavily encouraging' this. I know he is truly supportive, but I also know he truly has fantasies that I will write a novel that makes us rich.
That kind of pressure isn't helping my anxiety, which has already come back with leaps and bounds. I guess it's one thing to always say I want to write, while feeling that that was somewhere down the line, and another to actually DO it.
I could fail. Spectacularly. I could succeed. Even spectacularly. Both options are scary. But it's time to stop saying I want to do it or I'm going to do it someday, and do it now. I need to commit to writing EVERY DAY, whether on my book, on other writing ideas, on my blog, whatever - I just need to do it to get over this paralyzing fear.
Step One is attending the workshop tomorrow. Being willing to introduce myself to other writers. Networking. Step Two is writing. Write for me. Write because I love it (and I do). Write without worrying about whether anybody is ever going to read it, or whether it's any good, or whether I'll ever be published. Write for me.
Another book I'm reading, entitled "The Digital Mom Handbook," emphasizes you can create a digital career through blogging about your passion. So, they say, figure out your passion. This is a lot harder than it seems. I have enthusiasm for a lot of things - genealogy, history, German, food, music, language. I get really excited about genealogy and eBay and chocolate and romance novels. How to turn those into something lucrative?
Can I blog about my process of becoming a writer? Do I want to?
I guess it doesn't matter in the end if I use discovering my passion to write a blog - or write a novel. It's clear to me that the written word and playing with language fuel me like almost nothing else. Except sugar. Only that's an artificial fuel, and probably not worth blogging about beyond what I already fess up to here regarding my addiction to it.
What's your passion?