Sunday, March 14, 2010


We have resorted to the M&M system to "help" Ellie get potty-trained. It's working better than having no reward, although the amount of underwear I'm still cleaning out testifies that so far it's far from fool-proof. The hardest thing for me, however, is that as I reward Ellie with M&M's, I've started rewarding myself. A few M&M's for mommy won't hurt, right? Only a) now I want them all the time, and b) they break our "no artificial anything" eating plan I'm supposed to be following. And they've made me rebellious on both fronts: I'm now trying to convince myself I can handle a little milk chocolate (previous binge experience shows me I can't), and that eating a little bit of artificial stuff isn't a problem (but the cravings it has set up and my subsequent trip through the Hardee's drive-thru yesterday reveals the truth).

I so wish I didn't have these food issues, this sugar and chocolate addiction, this inability to control my eating of certain things. But I do. Perhaps a small sign that I'm growing up a little bit is my willingness to admit it, AND to abstain from those things. So I've gotta give up the M&M's. At least until Easter.


  1. Is it possible that there is an alternate candy reward that you could give her that WOULDN'T break the rules? Like a semi-sweet chocolate chip, for instance. I realize that this doesn't help with your chocolate issue...or maybe one of the health food stores would have an acceptable treat...Good luck with this, it must be so frustrating! I will say a little prayer for you. -Jeanine

  2. Well, sure, but where's the fun in that? As a chocolate addict, I apparently have masochistic tendencies and like to test myself to see if I can be around it. Bwah ha ha. I'm so dumb! However, I have not eaten ANY in the last two days, so I am proud of that.

  3. That was a good idea Jeanine had. Oh and every time I hear/read masochistic I think of Edward!