Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I don't know. I wish I did. I had hoped that cleaning up the food might "fix" it. As of two weeks ago, we are avoiding foods containing artificial colors, flavors, preservatives, MSG, high fructose corn syrup, and anything hydrogenated. And also trying, with less success, to reduce white flour, sugar, and natural flavors intake. The Amazing Personality Transformation has not happened, however. I still feel bitchy! I still feel tired (I've even started napping again during the day). I'm not sure I feel different at all, actually, and that's depressing. Maybe it's because I'm still consuming a heck of a lot of baked good type stuff; yes, it's homemade, but cookies, cinnamon rolls, and pumpkin bread are still loaded with sugar, even if they are made from freshly milled flour and with raw milk. I'm sure my eating is still unbalanced, heavily favoring bready stuff and not getting as much protein, fruits, or veggies as I need.
Or is that me trying to create a new Holy Grail - if I can just get THAT part of my food fixed, THEN obviously I will no longer feel like the Wicked Witch of the West half of (O.K., most of) the time! Yeah, that's the ticket!
My mom mentioned once that she's sure her own mother had dysthymia - apparently a low-level depression that also includes irritability. So I'd like to go back to the "it's in my genes" argument. But does abdicating responsibility really do me any more good than assuming too much?
I don't know. I'm just tired of being grouchy. And perhaps, yes, grouchy from being tired.