Jeff just turned 9. I can't believe I have a 9 year old. Ellie is nearly 4. Pretty soon both of my kids will be school kids. Then teenagers. Ack. I just hope I can do well by Jeff. I love him intensely, but worry about him, too. What will his life be like, dealing with Asperger's and Tourette's? Will it hold him back? Will he be depressed? One of my greatest unexpressed fears is that some day he will kill himself. I don't know why I fear that; I hope the odds aren't great. Maybe because I know how hard it can be to be a person on this planet in general, much less when you've been handed some extra challenges. I pray he rises to the task of accepting and celebrating exactly who he is and finds strength in it, but I worry because he is pessimistic and self-critical by nature, it seems.
The snow is beautiful.
We are trying to clean up our eating and remove foods with artificial colors, artificial flavors, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, high fructose corn syrup, MSG or trans fats. If we can also avoid white flour, processed foods, and white sugar, great, but those are secondary right now. And man, it is HARD!!! Day 1, which was yesterday, was fine, but today Ellie and I ended up at a birthday party and had pizza and cake. Normal party food and I'm not going to restrict my kids from having that kind of food at a party, but still - it was frustrating not to even make it two days! And I know that not only the kids but I am also going to start clamoring for M&M's or a pizza or fast food or whatever. But it's a good challenge. I want to see what kind of effect it has on all of us.